Many people are wondering WHY I am a single mom-to-be. A brave guy DM'd me and congratulated me on my pregnancy and then said "sad though, why u a single mommy? if u don't mind me asking."
I don't think he was being disrespectful or out of line, I think he has the view our society has molded us to have... Babies should be brought into this world with their parents married in a beautiful home.
I was brought up with both my parents in my life. I had a beautiful upbringing but that is because my parents had a great relationship with each other. My situation is a different kind of beautiful and it is far from sad...
What is more sad than a single mom, is a household of domestic violence. A woman or man getting beat up by their partner in front of their children. It is sad when she/he swears staying with their partner will benefit the kid. It is sad because it does more harm to those children than single parenting ever will.
I think a woman or man continually being cheated on by their partner is more sad than a single mom or dad. It shows the kid(s) that those types of behaviors are ok because mommy or daddy accepts them. Again, the woman or man allowing the disrespect is sad. It is sad because it does more harm to those children than single parenting ever will.
Parents who are together and party all the time with their children in the house or taking their children out make me more sad than me being single with my son. Putting your own child in harms way and/or choosing your own selfish needs doesn't appeal to me. It is sad because it does more harm to those children than single parenting ever will.
A parent who begs the other parent to be with him/her makes me sad. It makes me sad that their child will see how insecurities and lack of confidence consumed their parents enough to not be happy and healthy in a relationship. It makes me sad that a parent will use a child to keep their man or woman. It is sad because it does more harm to those children than single parenting ever will.
I'm not about any of those situations and that is why I choose to be single and I am happy that my baby's father thinks the same. My child's father and I both know we aren't meant to be together and will not force it. I respect him for being honest and I'm sure he respects me for not being bitter. I'm not bitter. There was a time I was in complete infatuation with him, but that changed literally the night before I even knew I was pregnant. I am grateful for his sperm (lol) because that sperm gave me a whole new life, literally. Although I did not plan on things going down the way they did, I am definitely trying my best to give this precious baby a great life as best I could by co-parenting and I am very happy he is doing the same.
As for finding a partner, I will wait until I find the perfect partner, not only for my romantic pleasure, but for the well-being of my son. It may take my whole life, I may finally find my soulmate when my son is 30 years old, but I will wait. My parents have showed me that is it possible to find a life partner even after having kids. For now, my son is all that matters to me. He is my whole world, my whole life, my whole existence, my whole purpose. I am not sad nor think that it is sad to be in this situation. I love this place in my life and wouldn't change it for the world. Besides, can any of you imagine me married to a man, being pregnant, trying to please both of our needs? Or getting abused, cheated on, not changing to my lifestyle to fit my pregnancy, or forcing someone to be with me? Could you see me allowing someone to tell me what, when, how, why to eat or drink, exercise or not, use coconut oil or not, etc, etc, etc??? Yeah, me neither. ;)
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