First and last?

 

This is my first pregnancy. God gave me the opportunity to enjoy a healthy, happy pregnancy. I appreciate the blessing but I want this pregnancy to be my last, so why can’t I get my tubes tied at 22?

 

When baby Aguino is grown (lets say 18) and I have no one to care for like I cared for him all those years, that is when I would CONSIDER having another child. By then I will be 40 or 41 years old, and trust and believe I will not be getting pregnant at that age. I will not be starting all over and having my last kid out of the house when I am 58. That isn’t my cup of tea; not now that I am 22 years old or then when I am 40 years old. Hell no. So why doesn’t my doctor accept my request to get my “tubes tied?” Why does he say, “good luck finding a doctor who will tie your tubes at 22”?

I understand the permanency of tying your tubes. Once you get them done, you cannot undo it. I understand he wants me to consider that I will only be maybe 23 when I give birth and I still have years of fertility ahead of me. But why can’t doctors understand WHY I want to tie my tubes. 

My doctor (I met him for the first time this week after transferring) asked me if it is because I had a difficult pregnancy. No. I have had a wonderful pregnancy (besides the heartburn) but do I want to be pregnant again? No. 9 months is too long for me. It isn’t about the pregnancy though- it is about my plans and vision for the rest of my life. 

There are women who dream of getting married and having 6 kids. They pick out their wedding dress, bridesmaids, baby names, baby nurseries, baby clothes at a young age. Then there are females like me, who at 10 years old, set a goal to own their own home, land their dream job, and travel the world. You see, I never dream of having a family. I thought of adopting and sharing that home, career, and travel with a kid but now I am having my own kid which is (now) so much cooler to me. 

I do not, nor ever will, see my kid as a burden. I love him too much to think he will hinder my success or dreams. He is now the purpose to kick more ass and do more for the both of us. The way I see the next 18 years of my life is preparing my mini me to sail off into the world and live his life in any way he chooses. I see all of my attention and love going to him every second of every day for those 18 years (and of course more space when he is living his own life). I see us with a resilient bond that can never be duplicated. I see a life with my life partner, my soulmate, my best friend, my baby. 

I also understand that I need to be open to love. I understand that I may one day meet the man of my dreams and maybe love him uncontrollably. Maybe this man will want me to carry his children, but I never liked that idea… “having his baby.” If I were to tie my tubes, meet a man who wants to have kids with me but I can’t, then he has two choices: love it or leave it. If he chooses to leave and find another lover who can bear his kids, great for him. If he chooses to love and still finds happiness in me, great for the both of us. Either one will speak volumes. 

I just don’t understand why it is normal for a female to want 2 kids – one boy named Max and one girl named Sophie– but it God forbid a female to accept and only want one baby boy for the rest of her life. Or for an 18 year old to not want any kids along with not wanting to put hormones or foreign objects in her body (birth control pills, patches, shots, implants). And of course condoms are good because they prevent pregnancy and STD/STI but they aren’t 100% guaranteed. The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence but really how realistic is that?

What do yall think of getting your tubes tied at a young age? I’d like to hear even if you disagree with me!